Twin Adventures

Twin girls now rule the house.

Keeping Things Fair and Equal

on July 19, 2012

Before I start today’s post, I’d just like apologize; it’s been almost a month since I’ve written a blog post! We sold our old business, moved two hours away, and bought a new business. It’s been a little crazy around here, especially with getting all of our safety measures at work up to code. And of course, unpacking and trying to make our new apartment feel like home. Now that we are settling back into a routine again, I’ll try and make my posts at least weekly!

 

After a couple of months of having twins, Anton and I always found ourselves wondering if we favoured one baby over the other. It felt like I always gravitated towards Shula and Anton towards Maretta. Perhaps we felt a closer connection because Maretta looks a fair bit like Anton, and Shula looks like me. We wanted both our girls to grow up with similar experiences and the same amount of love, attention, and face time from both parents. With this in mind we came up with, what we think is, a creative solution to make sure that neither girl was getting favoured over the other.

Our solution was to have “days”. Maretta Day and Shula Day. We alternate who’s day it is so that things are always even. On their Day, the “It” girl gets to be the favourite. Today, for instance, is Shula Day. She’ll get to wear clothes that are more girly colours (pinks, purples, reds) and her bottles and eating utensils for the day will be pink or purple. We keep this in mind whenever there is a colour choice to make throughout the day. The colour of soother that they get, stuffed animal colours, diaper cover colours, and… I think you get the picture. And, Maretta gets to have more boyish colours. Clothes will be blues, greens, yellows; as well as bowls, bottles, and cutlery. Just with the girly colours, the boyish colours will follow the same pattern throughout the day whenever there is a choice.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Shula Day! Pink diaper cover, pink chair,                  Maretta Day! Pink outfit, and front seat  pink soother!                                                                                          of the stroller!

Whenever there is a choice, the It girl gets to go first. This particular part comes in to play a lot if there is only one parent home. Today I am at home by myself while Anton is at work, so Shula will be taken out of her crib first, and get to be changed first. During the day she’ll get a bottle first; as well as being given the first spoonful of food. When there are two of us at home, the It girl always gets Mommy. Today, once Anton is home from work, I’ll change and feed Shula and Anton will change and feed Maretta. It turns into a Shula and Mommy Day as well as a Maretta and Daddy Day.

The It girl gets all the best seating; she gets to sit in the front of the stroller and while in the car she gets to sit behind mommy (not sure why we came up with that one? I’m assuming they both see pretty much the same thing no matter if they’re sitting on the right or left side of the car). Whenever there is a choice of being in the front, or being in a spot with a “better” view, the It girl will get it!

Maretta Day! Shula waiting patiently for her turn…

I asked the other twin parents that I know if anyone else has a system or something like this and no one does. I think a lot of people, including moms of multiples, would be say that we’re overthinking it and being overly analytical with the whole thing. We could be, but Anton and I like to think that by doing things this way we are setting both of our little girls up to be equals. Neither one of us will show favouritism or be easier or tougher on either one. We want to make sure that both of them have the same amount of confidence and humility. We also think that by switching back and forth Shula and Maretta are both learning about sharing and taking turns. After doing the same things for a year, they both seem to understand that they’ll get taken care of, even if it isn’t right away. They may fuss every once in a while if they have to wait, but they know how things work.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: